First things First: Digesting your TLC 360 results
The first thing you owe yourself is just to notice when and how you are reacting. And notice what its costing you.
Yup, just even becoming aware of that is a big deal.
This reactive tendency of yours has been unconscious and automatic for a long, long time.
So just noticing how it shows up in your personal life with your loved ones and when it gets triggered at work is Job #1.
Think of it as the bargain you made with life. You wanted to be successful and reacting like this seemed like the safest way.
But it actually had you tie your worth to a condition.
Like... I am worthy only if….
- I do what I am told; or if
- everyone else is kept happy; or if
- I provide the best solutions; or if
- I don't rock the boat; or if
- I am always right; or if
- I figure it out all on my own; or if
- I can constantly show my value; or if
- I voice my opinion strongly
Whatever your version of this old story is, it’s a lie.
Your worth is not linked to anything.
Your value is not dependant on any circumstances like how happy everyone around you is, how smart you seem to be or how many goals you exceed. Really.
Radical? Well, it's true. You are worthy as is.
Putting energy into being accepted, smart or an over achiever takes a lot of your energy and doesn't give you real results. Real results being a true, deep sense of fulfillment and creative achievements that are meaningful to you.
So the first place to look is to just be aware of when you are reacting.
What kind of situations cause you to go there - to try to please, to impose your opinion, to win at all costs. Who are you with, what seems at stake, and what you are giving up. What is it costing you?
Like when I had the idea of starting this blog, I went to my old story of "yah but they won't really give a shit anyway ...plus I don't know how to do that".
And so I sat on the idea for months. "I don't know what to write about … and I don't know that it would even make a difference to them if I did take the time to write…" Blah blah blah went the reasoning.
The cost to me? A nagging sense of failure. I had an idea that might help someone learn something valuable to them but I wasn't acting on it.
And perhaps a cost to you of not having information sooner.
Mostly just a constant sense of 'OK it might be safer not to stick my neck out by writing my opinions online to be judged (even by a small group of people!) but I don't feel like I am moving forward either'.
It wore me out! The energy it took up in the background of my head.
So here I am doing this blog anyway. Taking a risk.
Because my new story that energizes me way more than the old is that 'Well I care! And my answer to how is YES!'
So, what's your old story and what's it costing you?